This tracks surprisingly well with an assessment another Westerner, who ironically, but-not-completely-ironically, refers to herself as 'seriously Westcoast, recently gave me of The Rest of Canada:
The North: big, lots of fishes and trees.
Saskatchewan, Manitoba, "western Ontario": MB and SK are interchangeable empty wastelands. Western Ontario may be entirely imaginary (e.g. "Thunder Bay" is clearly a made-up place).
Ontario: all municipalities and locations within it are within a one-hour drive of Toronto, except for Toronto's suburbs, which are a 3-hour commute from downtown.
The East: not sure of the difference between Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. Also, can't remember whether Labrador is the island one, or Newfoundland. PEI is a place where time stands still, as enforced by the provincial government in 1908. Also, mandatory braided pigtails for all elementary school children (note the gender-neutral policy). Proportion of individuals with extensive freckles and ginger hair is rising due to strict immigration and marriage requirements.
She is an eternal fount of stupid opinions borne of a conceited sense of superiority, infuriatingly coupled to false modesty and humility.