20 November 2011

The Christmas season has begun, whether you like it or not.

Last night was the Halifax Christmas parade. It's officially called the "Parade of Lights" but there's really no attempt made to celebrate any holiday other than Christmas. It takes place at night, so all the floats are lit up and it's all pretty. This was the first time I've watched it with my niece and nephew. They really enjoyed it. Me and their Other Auntie spent most of the parade making snarky remarks (which my niece didn't like) but we enjoyed it too. On a completely different level than the children, mind you.

Least Christmasy Entry

A contingent of Halifax comic geeks with a giant "Nerd Pride" sign and dressed up like various Star Wars characters ("Here come the holiday Jedi warriors"~Other Auntie). They were advertising Hal Con, our very own geek convention (this year the big name attendee was Nicholas Brendan(!)).  But putting a Santa hat on Boba Fett and decorating the sand people's weapons with Christmas lights doesn't make it Christmasy.

Least Christmasy Entry Runner-Up
A fitness studio had a small float featuring North pole dancing and people doing crunches. Seeing that float made me feel so lazy. The were in a parade and working on their core, and I was just standing there.

Most Flagrant By-law Flouting
The entry for Peggy's Cove Express (a whale watching operation) was one of those comically little trucks with a giant lobster trap and a Christmas tree on the back. A giant mastiff had his head hanging out of the cab window, and the driver was talking on his cell phone. In front of an audience of thousands ("Maybe he thinks nobody is watching" ~ my brother).

Oddest Meta Statement
The float for Crime Stoppers was a bunch of people in inmate black and white striped outfits, in a fake jail. ("Is that the float for Dartmouth Penn?" "It's....festive."). But the weird thing was that all the inmates were wearing placards that said "Not Guilty" or "I'm innocent." ("Nothing says Merry Christmas like innocent people wrongly imprisoned"). But to me, it seemed like Crime Stoppers was making some kind of comment about how useful the tips they get are, or maybe it was an even broader statement about our justice system. It made me think too much, anyway, and I don't go to the parade to think. 

Worst mascots
1. Mr. MacPass
 It's just a giant macpass, wearing a hat, with shaky eyebrows and a huge smile. Why is he so happy? Why does he have his name written on him?

2. Tim Horton's
 The mascot was Tim's cup with waving arms, but no face.

3. Susie Shortbread
A giant cupcake with creepy googly eyes, a massive smiling mouth, and eye lashes. ("Those eyes creep me out"~Other Auntie. "It has eye lashes!"~Me. "Stop talking about the cupcake. I'll tell her what you said"~Niece). 

4. Sonar the Navy's mascot black lab
Because when I think of the Navy I think of a black lab. I don't think dogs are even allowed on the ships.

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