My thoughts are cookie dough. They aren't done baking.

Generally, in the course of my day, I’ll have a number of thoughts that I’ll think about putting here. Sometimes I send myself an email with those thoughts, or links to the article or website that spawned them. Lately, I’ve just been keeping them in a word file on my computer. Often these little thoughts aren’t really enough for a post of their own, unless I were to add a bunch of stuff to them, and as you’ll see, my thoughts are often only half-formed.

I think I have enough notes saved up to take up some of your time and distract you from whatever it is you try to escape from when you read this. Here, in no particular order, are a bunch of things:



Chess boxing. Is a real thing. Seriously?

I have trouble taking journal articles that use exclamation marks seriously.

I was thinking the other day that mussels and clams should learn to fly so that when sea gulls and other birds dropped them from heights onto hard surfaces they could escape and go home.

There’s an article in the Hali paper about the Hudson 70 expedition. It was the first (and only) circumnavigation of the Americas and really marks one of Canada’s greatest contributions to ocean science. It was done 40 years ago, back when there was money for science.

Have you ever felt that similar news stories always seem to come out at the same time. Like the epidemic of stupid, or that rash of family-killings earlier this year? Now, it feels to me at least, the new theme is animal cruelty accusations in unlikely places, like the (rather convincing) charges against the Toronto Humane Society, and now the Calgary Zoo will be facing an independent review. I knew about the sting rays there, but I didn’t know about all the other animals dying. I think if animals’ lives depend on you doing your job well, then there should be serious repercussions for messing up. The person who killed the capybara got 2 days without pay as punishment. Assuming a salary of $20/hour and a 7.5 hour work day, than the life of that capybura was worth $300 (before taxes). I wonder what the fine was for the person who fucked up the sting ray tank? Did he loose his coffee break for a day? (Addendum, there was a story in the paper yesterday about a NS woman being charged with animal cruelty as well. It’s an epidemic of evil).

There was an article (on CBC, I think) about a mother of 3 who was complaining that Rogers was charging her $0.15 per incoming text, even though her original contract said all incoming texts were free. Yes, it’s douchy of Rogers to do that, but really are you surprised? The do say (as does every contract I’ve ever signed with a telecommunications or credit card company in my life) that they have the right to change the terms of the agreement at any time. She was complaining that she can’t control the texts her kids get, which is true, but then they went on to say that one of her daughters sent ~6000 texts in a single month. I’d think the first step in not receiving texts would be to not invite them by sending them to other people. But what really caught me about the story is the 6000 texts a month! That’s 200 per day. And this kid is 16, so I’m pretty sure every single one of those messages was a thoughtfully composed missive on the torture allegations, or maybe on Copenhagen, or even on the eternal debate over God’s existence. Assuming the kid sleeps 8 hours a day, when she’s awake she’s sending a text every 5 minutes. Make you kid pay for her own damn cell phone. In terms of activities that youth spend too much time doing, texting is the new TV.

Speaking of bad parenting. A while ago there was a story about a woman who was backing out of her driveway and ran over her own kid. Pretty awful, yes. I think the kid was fine. In the comments section (I know, I shouldn’t read the comments section) some idiot said “I forget the percentage, but your chances of hitting a kid reduces by 90% if you back into your driveway and pull out when you leave.” I’m paraphrasing, but they definitely said that they forgot the number, but then stated a number anyway. I really hope there’s just something about message boards that makes people seem stupider and meaner and more racist and bigoted than they are in real life, or our country has a serious problem. And anyway, if your kid is stupid enough to play around moving cars in the driveway, you’d probably hit him backing into the drive way too.