I don't care what the critics think

I had very basic expectations for the X Files movie. I love the show beyond description, but I’m also realistic. X Files' heyday was over a decade ago, and things are different now. I honestly don’t know if Chris Carter is able to change with the times. So, I decided the best way to not be disappointed was to have very simple (read: low) expectations. Here’s what I expected from the new X Files movie: I expected Mulder to be obstinate, have at least one monologue about some kind of paranormal phenomena, and to go off halfcocked on some thin lead and get himself into trouble. I expected Scully to look pained, cry, spout medical jargon, and struggle with her faith.

And I wasn’t disappointed! Seriously, it was better than I thought it would be and it wasn’t completely crappy! I know it’s been getting dreadful reviews, but I don’t care. For me, the excitement of seeing the characters again was enough to get me through the slowish scenes and not-so-interesting subplot. The truth of the matter is that I even if this movie is as horrible as people say it is, I’m probably not able to recognize it as such.

I’ll try not to give much away, in the off chance that this glowing review should convince anyone to see it (and yes, I’m going to see it again. Roll your eyes all you want). I made a point of not reading the reviews, or watching too many of the previews beforehand. I wanted to be surprised. The previews were hard to avoid, but let me tell you they are ingenious. The movie is not at all what you would expect based on the previews – score one for the Fox marketing monkeys. The story was less paranormal than I expected and it was more about human monsters à la Donnie Pfaster than paranormal monsters. There were some funny moments, and references to past episodes. And Chris Carter made me happy by acknowledging William. I was worried they would conveniently forget that Scully gave her kid away like 9 years ago. There was also a reveal near the end that elicited an audible reaction from the audience, myself included. I think I may have actually squealed and clapped my hands.

There was one thing I absolutely hated – it struck me as completely unrealistic and bothered me to no end. At one point Scully decides to use stem cells to treat a patient of her's, but she clearly knows little about the procedure. So, to research it, she Googles “stem cell research.” What kind of doctor uses Google for their research!? Maybe the hospital she works at is so poorly funded that they can’t afford medical journals, but that’s no excuse to treat your patient with information from Wikipedia.

In conclusion, I think the key to enjoying this movie is a moderate level of adoration for the series, and sufficiently low expectations. I also suggest watching the closing credits, if just to be reassured by the fact that, even though he didn’t appear on screen, Frohike was at least involved in the production of the film. Actually, the credits are this weird ode to water in all its forms. It’s very odd, but at the end of it there is something worth sticking around for.