08 June 2010

Anybody Can Be Cool... But Awesome Takes Practice

My mom is a big fan of AbeBooks. I’ve ordered from them a couple of times, they’re really good for out of print, harder to find books.

I was browsing the site the other day (looking for, of all things, stats books) and I came across their page dedicated to weird books. Weirdy, weirdy-weird books. The first thing that comes to my mind when I see books like these is not who reads them, but who the hell paid for the rights to publish them?!

What will happen to arcane books like these if the publishing world goes digital? (and, while on the topic, what will happen to my love of giving and receiving books as gifts? Will you just email someone a link to a download and say “Happy Birthday”? Down with e reading!)

My favourite titles, in no particular order, are:

Anybody Can Be Cool... But Awesome Takes Practice (I should know)
Blessed are the Cheesemakers (Here here!)
50 Ways to Use Feminine Hygiene Products in a Manly Manner
Jewish Chess Masters on Stamps (Is there enough there for a whole book? Shouldn’t that be, like, a pamphlet?)
What to Do When the Russians Come (Useful, should the DEW line fail us. Also, is the use of "when" just the author being alarmist? or confident?)
50 Sad Chairs
Nuclear War: What's in It for You?
The Pop-Up Book of Phobias (What if your phobia is things jumping up at you from the page?)

And the award for Best Cover Art. Ever. Goes to: Soldier Bear

Isn't he cute? Helping out at the front, carrying ammo for the other soldiers. I'll bet during those long nights in the trenches, he keeps spirits up by performing funny little bear-dances. But, really, shouldn't he be wearing a helmet? With holes for his ears? Don't you just want him to lumber off the page so you can give him a hug?


Anonymous said...

I enjoy the potential for sequels on the page. For example, readers of "Soldier Bear" might next turn to the reference book "Help! A Bear Is Eating Me!" Those reading "Kneel to the Prettiest" might logically follow with "Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power"; or, becoming disillusioned with society's focus on appearance, choose to enhance other aspects of their person via "Bowl Better Using Self-Hypnosis". "The Man who Left His wife and Had A Nifty Time" could be the PC version of "Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition: English Sea Rovers in the Seventeenth-Century Caribbean".

Mostly I am just surprised you did not give special mention to "Trout Madness: Being a Dissertation on the Symptoms and Pathology of This Incurable Disease By One of Its Victims".


Ellie Fish said...

Oz, I love how your mind works.