Things I shouldn't have to tell you

I was going through an old notebook and I came across a list I made of improper quotation uses. This is a pet peeve of mine, when people use quotations for emphasis. That’s not what quotation marks are for! I shouldn’t have to tell people that! I got these from signs and advertisements and I wouldn’t have written them down if I didn’t see them. Tell me there isn’t something inherently wrong with the following.

“Hair” straightener

Buy one get one “free”

Vacation “on Lake Placid”

“Please” do not squeeze us, we are fragile

“Babysitter” available

God is here for “you”

And my absolute, all-time, favourite:

Become a commercial “pilot”