Next week is Oceans Week. This week is Crazy Murder Shit Week.

According to Tumblr,  some crazy shit went down in  Miami. Some guy ate some other guy’s face? At the risk of appearing ignorant, I am actively avoiding any more information about this. I don’t want to read about modern cannibalism.  I like my cannibals safely ensconced in fictional narratives.

While we’re on the topic of crazy shit, how about this male model/porn star who dismembered someone “known”** to him and sent body parts to political headquarters? So many aspects of this story are unsettling. It’s just endless layers of disturbing. I mean, if they found the torso in a suitcase, and they found a foot and a hand in the mail – where is the rest of that poor person? I wonder why the foot for conservatives and the hand for liberals?. What part was he planning on sending to the NDP? Am I alone in thinking that if you were to receive a body part in the mail, a hand is preferable to a foot?  I mean, it's still a severed hand, but a foot is worse. Feet are ugly to start with. And they aren’t limbs you use socially. You walk with them and you kick with them. You never, for example, "lend someone a foot." Whereas hands are much more helpful and positive limbs.  Tangentially related, any cop show will tell you that hiding bodies in luggage never works, yet this isn't the even first time a body's been found in luggage this week. 

I think a lot of Canada still thinks we’re not the kind of place where this stuff happens. We absolutely are. It’s just a numbers game, really.  If a certain percent of humans are going to commit gruesome acts regardless of the underlying causes, then it’s going to happen everywhere. I think it’s telling that we try to link these incidents to past events as a way to explain them. Remember when Russell Williams was found out, the rumours were that he went to school with Paul Bernardo? Now people are saying that the knife-happy porn star dated Karla Homolka. As if that explains it. They’re the Adam and Eve of Canadian Evil. As if every  person to have done something inexplicably horrible in Canada must have come into contact with that original duo at some point.   

**I think once you kill someone and take apart their corpse, you know them pretty well.